The Sober Travel Style is for travelers who are sober curious or are continuing a sober life. These travelers want to book their next travel destination in a location and culture that offers the most nourishment for the soul, without the need for alcohol. These travelers are likely to prefer more outdoor, relaxing, and spiritual activities planned into their itinerary.
What Sobriety is NOT
It is becoming more common for people to being their sober journey. In the past, sobriety has been tied to many negative meanings when really, sobriety has a very large spectrum. From ‘Sober for life’ persons to ‘Sober Curious’, or ‘Mindful Drinker’. There are many different avenues of navigating life and travel with sobriety.
Whatever the reason for someone not to be drinking alcohol, is valid. What is never valid is asking someone WHY they are sober if/when they deny a drink. Frankly, it is no one’s business as to why, and the question is as poor in social cues as it is to ask woman if they want kids. And on that note, it is definitely not proper to ask someone if they aren’t drinking because they are pregnant. How to be a normal adult human being 101…avoid both of these questions.
I bitch in this section because I have been sober and I’ve stopped sobriety and as I write this page I am back in my sober era. During this season, I jump between the lines of Sober Curious and Mindful Drinker, and that’s totally okay.
Sober for Life
Just as there are many reasons why people drink, there are also a variety of reasons why people have to quit drinking. Whether for recovery, health, religion, or other complications…being able to quit and never return to the addictive drug is hard work. It’s an every day decision that must be followed with the upmost respect and awareness. Anyone who has quit any sort of addictive drug is next level. These are the people who have great control of their emotions, triggers, and decisions. They think with a clear head, sleep better, laugh more, have better moods, and generally feel good.
Sober Curious
A sober curious person is someone who may go on alcohol breaks or detoxes often. They are exploring their attachment to and relationship with alcohol, how their body responds to it, and noticing what they like or dislike about drinking. These people might not always abstain from alcohol, but they definitely don’t get intoxicated or belligerent when they drink. They prefer their days or vacations to be memorable and enjoyable without the headache or anxiety that comes with the scaries the next day.
Mindful Drinker
The mindful drinker is someone who enjoys a glass on occasion. But not just any glass, if this person is going to drink anything it’s going to be worth it. This is the Franciacorta drinker, the vintage Amarone, Barolo, or Sassicaia enthusiast. They don’t over indulge and they know when they’ve had enough. These people drink for taste, not for need. They are so far unattached by alcohol that they can remain frugal with it. If you see them drinking it’ll be for a special toast, celebratory meal, or an intimate moment to themselves. Should you be around when this person decides to drink, it must be quite the occasion. And no need to make a big deal out of the act, but whatever they ordered, you should take note.
The Sober Movement
I’ve ready memoirs, books, and blogs about the sober movement. Just like cigarettes were once smoked by everyone in the 80s, it has become “gross” or “shocking” to smoke cigarettes now. Alcohol will soon be the same way. When the world continues to wake up and realize that it is absolutely ridiculous to pour alcohol into every aspect of our lives, the minority group will flip. Soon, it’ll be the people who still drink that are looked at with a puzzled face and confused gaze, not the abstainers. But hopefully by then, we will have learned to remove all judgement surrounding the conscious act of drinking.
Lucky for us, the sober movement is happening now and there is no stopping it. Sober Tourism is beginning to make a big impact in the lives of people who need support most…especially for Group Travel. So, all that being said, this platform will always view sobriety as an empowering movement for any individual and should be treated as a personal journey without judgement or rules.
The Sober Traveler
Whether you are just starting the sober life or you’ve been on your journey for many years, the best thing about traveling while sober, is that you can do it from anywhere!
These travelers are likely to prefer more outdoor, relaxing, and spiritual activities planned into their itinerary. They place a priority on experiences that enrich their well being rather than looking to alcohol to have a good time. They are likely to have a daily routine which is practiced even when on vacation. The sober traveler is someone who is comfortable sitting in silence, sitting alone for a meal, and is extremely independent. Many sober travelers also make really great solo travelers and can bend to many different obstacles life or travel throws at them. Deep down these travelers are on a journey of personal discovery and their travels should reflect their growth in where they’ve come from, where they are currently at, and where they are going.
If you’re considering taking a sober trip with a companion, hurray! Maybe you’ve found someone who you’d like to invite into your world of sobriety, or you know someone who is on their own sober journey and yall want to link up together, awesome! First round of business is having those important discussions on expectations and principals for your trip.
Things to Consider
Are you both abstaining from alcohol or just one of you? Is abstaining from drinking a spontaneous decision or are you firm in your decision? Will you avoid alcohol and any activities involving drinking completely or are you comfortable being around it?
These are the types of questions you should have with any potential companion for a sober trip so there aren’t any surprises or uncomfortable/dangerous situations you are putting yourselves in.
When selecting a companion, I recommend choosing someone that either has similar priorities as you, or a similar drinking style/sobriety phase as you. Additional considerations to take into account might be this person’s patterns with alcohol…is there a common theme? Does anything stick out to you? Lastly, consider the likelihood that this person will understand your needs for a sober trip…have you discussed sobriety in the past with this person? Do they understand what it takes? All of these reflections can help you make an informed decision when choosing a travel companion for a sober trip.
Companions of Sober Travelers
One of the most important decisions in traveling sober, is choosing a travel companion.
If this is your first sober trip, welcome! And congratulations on taking the first step into one of the most intimate experiences you can have with yourself. This trip means so much more than just “not drinking”. You will put your resilience and faith on the line over and over again throughout the trip. You’ll feel emotions and energies that you haven’t felt before and you’ll learn a lot about yourself.
I strongly suggest you consider taking a solo sober trip at least once in your life. My first sober trip was a solo trip and it is probably one of my favorites. I learned a lot about my priorities and my “vibe” or “style” when traveling. Funny for me, I realized that I enjoy eating nourishing foods while I’m sober as well. So leaning in on gluten free or Mediterranean diets was really enjoyable for me. Call it a new personality while traveling I don’t know, but it takes me over and I want only organic, natural remedies, products, and food…my trip becomes an entire detox.
If you’ve been asked to travel with someone who is sober or sober curious, congrats! That is an amazing invitation to receive…it shows you are trusting, reliable, and exude safety to this person.
Chances are if you’ve agreed to travel with someone who is sober, you’ve likely had the intimate discussion of where alcohol ranks on your priority list for a trip. You probably also know what your companion does and does not put up with.
If you haven’t had that conversation yet, my best advice would be to schedule a time where you can both dedicate intentional listening, and have the conversation soon.
Things to Consider
Does drinking in front of this person trigger them? Are you required to refrain from drinking alcohol on this trip/around this person? Do you have to worry about anything in the event this person drinks? What are your needs and priorities in order for this trip to meet your expectations and enjoyment?
Each of you should become familiar with what you’re both comfortable with and how you can best support each other in your decisions. At the end of the day, just as you shouldn’t pressure them, the decision to not drink shouldn’t be pressured onto you either.
As a side note, it is always easier to decide not to drink when you have a sober buddy. Just like it is always easier to convince yourself to drink, when your sober companion decides to. This should also come up in conversation. Personally, it’s harder for me to pass up a glass when I am alone, rather than in a group setting. But I know for other sober curious friends it’s the exact opposite…it’s harder when they are in a group setting and everyone is drinking. The point being, it’s helpful when you are with like minded individuals and you all support each other in your growth/journey.
Pros & Cons of Sober Travel
Pros
- Fulfillment through activities
- Can be a great opportunity for a detox
- Could visit a new AA meetup or sobriety support group abroad
- Find new businesses specializing in nonalcoholic options
- More cognizant when traveling
- No hangovers to ruin your day exploring
Cons
- No control over how often alcohol is around you
- Could be triggering or tempting
- Might not have your daily routine to keep you centered
- Separated from your support group
How to plan a Sober Trip
Step 1: Be aware of triggers
Although becoming sober or sober curious is more common nowadays, alcohol still plays a very predominant role in a typical day of travel…starting at the airport.
Alcohol & The Travel Industry
From checking in your bags and heading through airport security to making your way towards one of the international airport lounges that your Travel Rewards Credit Card gets you access to, you’ll find bottles on bottles of prosecco, white wine, red wine, rosè…all up for grabs in the form of self service. And if you’re at one of the premium lounges you might even have a full service bar and ordering service directly from the couch, making it as easy as possible to get unlimited alcoholic beverages without leaving your seat.
I’m sure I don’t need to go on about the many other times alcohol is reintroduced to you throughout the remainder of your travel day…upon being seated in business class, a welcome drink is served on a silver platter…and just after take off you can drown yourself in complimentary in flight beverages (queue premium Drink List for premium travelers and airlines). And if you’re in general seating, don’t you worry, the attendants will be by shortly to take your in flight beverage orders (because why should paying for alcohol in the sky stop you)…
Perhaps your hotel offers a welcome drink upon arrival or perhaps you’re celebrating a special occasion…immediate bubbles to the room. And of course once you’ve completed check in the hotel must inform you of their “first drink is on us” special coupon to lure you into the newly remodeled hotel bar for happy hour. Once you’ve finally made it to your room, there’s no need to fret, because the mini bar and fridge are both stocked with more alcohol for you to enjoy while you’re getting ready to go out. Finally, as if you hadn’t had enough already, don’t forget that you have room service available 24/7 ready to bring you ‘just one more glass’ (or bottle) straight to your room as you wind down for the night.
Alcohol is a very active player in the travel industry. Saying ‘no’ to alcohol is not just a one time instance. It’s a repetitive, consistent, conscious decision that is made over and over again.
Step 2: Choose the right activities
One thing my therapist told me when I began my sober journey was to find a healthy substitute for alcohol. Activities like yoga, meditation, reading, or painting, were really helpful. At first it started as a way of combating cravings but quickly turned into my daily practice. Now when I’m traveling, I always plan time for these activities, which helps cut back on alcohol intake and has great grounding benefits. There are many local FB groups and online travel networks that host group meetups for activities like this…it’s a great way to find support and have fun while traveling.
Another suggestion comes from a sober curious friend of mine. She found it easier to partake in experiences that could induce a “thrill”. I.e., planning activities like bungee jumping, paragliding, or a helicopter ride into her travels has really worked for her. And if funds are low, a quick high intensity workout can also help spike adrenalin in the body which is another healthy alternative.
Looking up a city’s sober/alcohol free businesses are also a great way to find new places that align with your needs while local events can help immerse you into the city’s culture and teach you something new.
Aside from knowing what activities you want to do, its also helpful to know what activities you should avoid doing too. If going to a Michelin star restaurant would persuade you to add the drink pairings to their tasting menu, maybe refraining from booking a reservation or stick with the alla carte menu so you’re not easily persuaded.
Step 3: Choose the right month
Narrowing down which month you want to travel helps your travel planning immensely. Many times, the activities available are contingent on the month or the time of year you select.
The summer months bring summer cocktails and the vibes are warm patios, beach chairs, tropical hikes, and effortless tans. And the winter months bring mulled wines, après ski parties, cozy fireplaces, holiday parties, family and friends, and many cheers. If you don’t know which month to plan a trip, you might consider which season you typically drink less in or have more success staying sober in, and vice versa.
One method I have found to be helpful is planning travel in months like “Sober October” or “Dry January” to encourage consistency. In 2022 I started Sober October and made it all the way through Dry January. I now know that I drink more in the summer season or when it feels nice out…so planning sober travels in the winter is more realistic for me.
Step 4: Choose the right travel destination
The real challenge in traveling sober is deciding on the destination because some countries are more alcohol dependent than others. Choosing a country to visit based on the month and activities is really important to setting yourself up for a successful sober trip. And knowing your priorities for the trip is extremely helpful in narrowing down a location to travel to.
In taking a ‘process of elimination’ approach, you can decide first, what activities you don’t want to do and remove any options that are focused around that. Then, decide how you want to feel and create a list of countries or experiences that you think can achieve this feeling for you. Lastly, do some research on the similar activities or experiences abroad in the months you’re interested in traveling and you should get a solid list of destination options.
Hello, There!
The choice to begin my sober curious journey was somewhere in between getting diagnosed with MS and noticing how alcohol affects my symptoms.
In 2022 I went completely sober and experienced strong withdraw symptoms for an entire month straight. I had been drinking since I was 14, over a decade ago. My body’s response to abstaining went berserk. It was through an initial withdraw phase which sparked me meeting the dark night of my soul.
Once you get through this phase you realize how strong and fragile you are at the same time…how much pain you’ve been living with…how many things you’ve been ignoring in your life or in your body. It is one of the most freeing and debilitating experiences you can go through.
I never thought I was addicted to alcohol. It’s not until you truly stop after years of drinking on the weekends and through school/work, that you realize how addicted you’ve always been to it. Living in Italy made going sober an even bigger struggle than normal, in my opinion. There are prominent wine labels at every restaurant you walk into and all encompassing wineries on every corner. It is wine heaven! So to me it was the ultimate test to go 5 months without drinking in one of the leading wine producing countries of the world. And test it was.
My life without alcohol has given me a clearer head, less chronic pain, less fatigue, and a greater awareness for life. I find it easiest to plan sober travel during the winter months while prioritizing my outdoor/spiritual/self care activities into my itinerary helps me keep the cravings away.
My favorite sober trip was to my first solo sober business trip to Belgium last December, while my favorite sober trip was with my husband to the Azores Islands off the coast of Portugal in January.
